What inspired you to write your memoir?
I commenced 6 years ago initially as a response to try and sort out what had happened to me in my own mind and then as a record for my children to understand why things occurred as they did. As time went on it became much more than this.
I had been born into a loving family who had a strong faith based belief who then joined a cult like fundamentalist religion. I believe any religion they would have joined they would have taken to the extreme but it just happened to be Jehovah’s Witnesses.
During my childhood and growing up years I developed an intense fear of god generating feverish activity in myself to adhere as closely as possible to the religion’s teachings. Combined with the sexual abuse I was experiencing within the organisation this led to me living often within my imagination, and contributed to an inability to feel or express emotion or relate on a deep level with people.
After my elder two children were abused within the religion it triggered in me doubt as to the doctrines due to their policy of dealing with child abuse victims and so began a 5-6 year period of pulling away until I eventually left.
Since my leaving my mother and all my friends I had ever known shunned me and treated me as if I were dead. As I had adhered previously to the organisation’s policy of only associating with fellow witness believers this meant I was on my own. My recovery from my indoctrination, the shunning, my own sexual abuse, and the sexual victimisation of my children led to an intense few years of highs and lows where I had to redevelop my identity, what I believed and connections with the “outside” world. This process I well document.
About your Book:
Jenny Hayworth grew up within the construct of the Jehovah’s Witnesses, which she describes as a fundamentalist, cult-like religion. She devoted her life to it for over thirty years. Then she left it. The church “unfellowshipped” her- rendered her dead to those family and friends still committed to the church.
Hayworth is a sexual abuse survivor. The trauma changed her self-perception, emotional development, trust, and every interaction with the world. Inside/Outside is her exploration of sexual abuse, religious fundamentalism, and recovery. Her childhood circumstances and tragedies forced her to live “inside”. This memoir chronicles her journey from experiencing comfort and emotional satisfaction only within her own fantasy world to developing the ability to feel and express real life emotion on the outside.
It is a story that begins with tragic multigenerational abuse, within an oppressive society, and ends with hope and rebirth into a life where she experiences real connections and satisfaction with the outside world.
Those who have ever felt trapped by trauma or circumstances will find Inside/Outside a dramatic reassurance that they are not alone in the world, and they have the ability to have a fulfilling life, both inside and out.
How did you decide how to publish your book and where is it published through:
I used Createspace to help publish my book. My book is published through Amazon sites and through Amazon Kindle. I have a large print version being produced currently.
I decided to use Createspace as I wished to have my book professionally edited. I had paid an editor for my completed draft but felt it needed someone who had experience with grammar, spelling and formatting to go over the book. The prices at Createspace were within my budget and the feedback from reading reviews seemed to be overwhelmingly positive. I wanted to produce within my budget, the best end product that I could. I purchased a basic editing package through Createspace as that is all my budget would allow. I have been very happy with their service. My book is available also through Barnes and Noble Nook stores.
How do you see writing a Memoir as different from writing other genres of books?
A memoir is very personal. Even though I have changed names of people, places and identifying features and written under a pen name to protect the living and to cause no harm it is still putting your deeply personal experiences out there to the public. The motivation is to help others feel not so alone who have experienced similar things, or to educate and inform those who wish to understand better in regard to these experiences. However, exposing your faults, good and bad to the world, is a leap of faith in humanity who some members of can often be brutal and condemning. In the end though, this is my story, my experience and I feel that it could be of benefit to others so I am willing to do this.
Author Bio:
Jenny Hayworth completed her Bachelor of Science degree, with a major in Psychology, in 2010. She currently works with prisoners in an attempt to help them rehabilitate back into society. She has volunteered as a crisis counselor for a suicide prevention hotline.
In her memoir, she combines her professional development and personal experiences with sexual abuse and religious fundamentalism to relate a story of tragedy and sorrow that ends in hope and healing. Her desire is to help others like her realize they are not alone in the world and can also recover.
Hayworth lives in Australia with her family, and finds joy in both her animals and garden.
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