What inspired you to write your memoir?
I lived a life recklessly — fast cars, drinking, drugs, sex — and it was suggested to me often that I should ‘tell my story.’ However, what people didn’t know, was my ‘reason’ for doing the things I did, which was to ‘hide’ who/what I am — a transgender individual born in 1961 in Kentucky, a time and place unaware of what it meant to be transgender.
It was not until I was able to face myself and ‘come out’ that I was able to put my story — my memories — down on paper. It was my wife’s skills as an administrative assistant that turned my memories into a memoir.
About your Book:
Alana Nicole Sholar shares her personal struggle with gender confusion in “Hung in the Middle: A Journey of Gender Discovery.” Born as Alan, Sholar lived, worked, and even trained to become a jockey on several of Kentucky’s now famous thoroughbred farms.
One of Alana’s earliest childhood memories is trying on her mother’s clothes and discovering that it just seemed right. However, in that place – rural central Kentucky – and at that time – the 1960’s – this was unheard of — let alone admitted.
Determined to hide the struggle within, Alan is a fast driving, hard drinking, pill popping, guitar player with a sex addiction that leads to multiple partner encounters and the consequences. On the way to becoming Alana, she imagines what it must be like to be with a man. When the opportunity presents itself, she struggles with making a decision to do something that once done, could never be undone.
In the end, Hung in the Middle is a love story. It is one of those familiar – but always irresistible – stories about falling in love with someone inaccessible, yet never giving up. And, it is about learning to love yourself.
Alana Nicole Sholar was born as Alan Sholar in Hopkinsville, Kentucky in 1961. Alan’s first love was the love for horses, which is why, even at the young age of eight years old, he was so excited when his family moved onto a thoroughbred farm in Versailles, Kentucky. Being of small stature along with his love for horses and living on a thoroughbred farm were all factors in Alan deciding to train to become a jockey.
As a young adult, Alan’s life was filled with risky macho behavior – an attempt to hide the struggle within. He married at the age of 25. He has one son. He had been married for 13 years before he was able to share his hidden secret with his wife. In 2005 Sholar’s name was legally changed to Alana Nicole. In 2006 the couple separated and divorced.
Although Alana is taking steps to transition, currently she continues to live her life ‘hung in the middle’ of genders.
How did you decide how to publish your book and where is it published through:
Coincidence? I don’t think they exist.
I accompanied my wife to meet with a gentleman she does administrative assistant work for. He happened to have a friend accompany him to the meeting. I mentioned working on my book, his friend mentioned he was starting a business to help authors self-publish — and the rest is history.
Since that date EWH Press was born — as well as “Hung in the Middle.”